Monday, May 08, 2006

Sarcasm and Da Vinci

Jay Tea sarcastically wrote on Wizbang As the release date of the filmed version of The Da Vinci Code draws nearer, a lot of Catholic officials are getting more and more disturbed. In fact, one Cardinal is urging that Catholics around the world not only boycott the film, but take legal action against the film's creators, distributors, and theatres. Once again, the Catholic Church is showing just how out of date and behind the times it is.

After all, we have seen how Muslims respond when a few cartoons are published; just think what they would have done if someone had written a book that said the entire basis for its faith was wrong.
If they REALLY wanted to garner the respect of the world and silence its detractors, here are some of the things they should have done first:

1) Issue a death sentence against Dan Brown, the book's author.
A death sentence would just take care of this world. Why not excommunicate him so he will go to Hell in the next world.
2) Hold massive riots against the book and movie.

3) Issue death threats against Tom Hanks and everyone else involved in the film.

4) Kill several people, such as book store employees who sold the novel, by beheading or some other gruesome manner.

5) Burn down book stores that stock the book.

Once they have created a suitable climate of fear around their wrath, THEN you have the authority to issue demands like those in these lawsuits. But those Catholics are just too dumb or too stubborn to recognize that Islam has proven the one true, sure-fire method for a religion to gain enough respect (or fear) to get its way around the world.

I suppose I should be glad the Catholics are as clueless as they are. After all, Dan Brown is a fellow New Hampshirite, and as a co-citizen of his, I could easily be lynched in his place.

3 comments:

M.Trapaceiro said...

Apparently Don Singleton hasn't yet heard of an interesting reaction:

THE LATEST BEST-SELLING THRILLER:

Hot on the heels of the “da Vinci Code” comes a new novel exploiting the same mix of historical fact, malicious interpretation and downright lies which the public seems to appreciate so much. The title is “The SONNY Corp. Conspiracy” and you’ll hear lots more about it. The “SONNY” in the title is an acronym for the Japanese name of a secret organization called the “Samurai Organization for World Domination”.

The capital behind this organization comes from a group of businessmen who made their fortune by supplying the Japanese Army with “comfort women”, women kidnapped from the territories invaded by Japan in the Second World War and forced into prostitution for the benefit of Japanese troops, as has been amply documented in recent controversy.

United by the Samurai ideology of Japanese supremacy and adopting the secret rites of their ancestors as a mystic, these fanatics set out to dominate the world using all the intrigue, assassination plots and dirty tricks available to the sinister organization of a modern multinational corporation and associated in the West with the oriental mafias. The beauty of the whole project is that it is financed by the products of the “Corporation”, sold principally in the west, so that anybody buying their wares is contributing to his own doom!

In their project for world domination one of the obstacles they come up against is the Catholic Church with its world-wide ramifications, so the “Corp.” as it is called, devises a project to destroy the prestige of this competing organization by financing movies, novels, theatre and individual media stars who use their media image to undermine the moral standing of the “enemy”. The authors, John Doe and Michael Trapaceiro insist that their novel, although based on authentic historical facts, is fiction, and has nothing to do with the recent production of “The da Vinci Code” movie by Sony PicturesEntertainment.

You will certainly hear more about this thriller, with the movie already being projected, though not this time by Sony Entertainment, but by a powerful new media group called “DEVILWORKS” who are also publishing the novel. Keep your eyes open and watch out for Samurais who might appear in your neighborhood pandering their wares!

And there are more to come - don't underestimate the reaction of a Catholic when you kick him in the...in his most sensitive parts!

Unionsbuerger said...

Der Da Vinci Code ist eine gute UCHRONIE.

Diese Uchronie ist nicht unwahrscheinlicher als die Fabeln der Kirche.
Die "Templiers" sind nicht wegen Blasphemie von Philippe Le Bel und vom Papst erledigt worden.
Sie waren einfach zu mächtig und zu reich für die Karolinger geworden.
Den "Templiers" das Geheimnis der Tochter Jesus: Sarah anhängen zu wollen,
ist eine schöne kontrafaktische Geschichte.
Warum sollten wir aber nicht daran glauben ?
Müssen wir den eidesstaatlichen Versicherungen vom Opus Dei und ihrer Benedikten glauben ?


www.chartaland.de

Don Singleton said...

I dropped out of German class after one semester so I am not sure what unionsberger is saying, but according to bablefish it is This Uchronie is not more improbable than the fables of the church. The "Templiers" was not settled because of Blasphemie of Philippe Le Bel and by the Pope. They had become too rich simply too powerfully and for the Karolinger. The "Templiers" the secret of the daughter Jesus: Sarah attach to want, is a beautiful against-actual history. Why shouldn't we believe however in it? Do we have to believe the oath-national insurance of the Opus Dei and their Benedikten?

Even with that translation, it makes about a little sense as does m.trapaceiro's post. His is clearly sarcastic, I am not sure what to think of Unionsbuerger.

I am happy to hear that the film the Da Vinci Code was panned when it was shown at Cannes Film Festival, so hopefully it will not make back the >$100 million it cost to produce.